Society’s morbid fascination with ‘before’

Society can often have a morbid fascination with whatever physical acceptability or perfection is perceived to be.  We hear of body-shaming stories all the time. These can be directed at us from others, or even worse, at us from ourselves …

It’s not what you say to everyone else that determines your life; it’s what you whisper to yourself that has the greatest power. (Author Unknown).

There’s always this association or hype that fat or overweight is ugly and bad – and thus it can happen that a perception is created that the fat or overweight person is bad too.  We have to guard against this mindset.

What you whisper to yourself is important

To those of us who have struggled with our weight, it’s important to remember that our bodies had no control over how we treated them. And often, there was a complex set of factors that affected the decisions we made and the actions we took (or didn’t take) in pursuing a healthy lifestyle.

It is not the fault of our body if we did not treat it as we should have.

There may have been illness or lack of knowledge that contributed to the ‘Before’ state of affairs.

Questions we must ask ourselves

Questions we must ask ourselves about the ‘Before’ state are:

• Did we make friends ‘before’?
• Were we kind ‘before’?
• Did we make a difference in other people’s lives ‘before’?

The answer, of course,  more often than not, is –  “Yes, we did”.

There will always be some personal regrets, but ultimately, we are today who we are because of who we have been ‘before’.

The minimalist approach to life says that we should not clutter our minds with regrets and should haves …

Live and celebrate right now

We only have today, so live it and celebrate where you are right now.

My thinking about ‘Before’ photos

At the time of my weight loss, in 2018, I made a conscious decision not to do ‘before and after’ photos for public display.  The ‘before’ photos are surely there on timelines and albums. They can stay there.  I am not proud of them. But that was not the fault of my body, who faithfully kept me alive in some pretty adverse conditions.

I do have some photos that I have kept for myself.  Photos with friends whom I made and had ‘before’. Photos of mostly happy times.  At the right time, they may be instrumental in helping to motivate others on their journey to better health.

For now, I might use old clothes – as a measure or milestone for ‘before and after photo’ celebrations, and a reminder to myself of the path I have travelled.   But mostly, I choose to celebrate the present. Where I am right now on my journey.

But I will not disrespect or humiliate my ‘before’ body.

My body was dependent on me. And I, in turn, was influenced by a wide range of formative circumstances that made up my umwelt.  So be it.

Your before is part of your now

Your ‘before’ is part of your now, and your tomorrows. Your ‘before’ is part of your why.

I am mindful that this is a journey and not a destination.  I am mindful that milestones should be celebrated. I am mindful that at all times we should respect our bodies.  It’s not always easy. Coming to that realisation is part of the journey.